


A Foreign Country

by drbeyne



Series: A Friend Request [5]
Category: Sanditon (TV 2019)
Genre: F/M, bereavement, middle-aged relationships, still-birth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:21:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27839773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drbeyne/pseuds/drbeyne
Summary: This is the last story in this series.We're five months on from the end of 'Eliza's Revenge.'  The prospect of a new baby in the family, and the discovery of some old letters, make Charlotte and Sidney confront past heartbreak.
Relationships: Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker
Series: A Friend Request [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1802758
Comments: 130
Kudos: 105





	1. Down Memory Lane

“The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there.” - L.P. Hartley

Historian Dr Elizabeth Crawford sat in her book-lined office reading the early nineteenth-century letters she had been sent that morning. The story these letters contained was fascinating and filled her with a growing sense of excitement. 

There was a knock on her office door and the boss, the head of the History department came in.

“Elizabeth, I need to talk to you about the… Oh, what have you got there?” His eyes lit up at the sight of the folded parchment on Elizabeth’s desk. 

“They’re letters from a Mary Parker in Sanditon - written to her sister in 1816.”

The professor took a seat. “Interesting?”

“Very. I think I can use them in my article.”

“Good, good. Any way they can be used in the community?”

Elizabeth frowned. “What do you mean?”

“We have to do more to connect our research with the wider community. That’s what I came to talk to you about. Any remaining family of this Mary Parker still in Sanditon?”

Elizabeth turned to her computer and did a quick search. “There’s a lot here about a Sidney Parker - seems he develops property in the town.”

“Good-oh. Bung him an email and see if he’s a relation. Photo of the two of you in the local rag holding these letters and I can say we’ve done some work connecting history to the community.” The professor stood up, beaming, and left the room.

Elizabeth groaned to herself. A property developer! Shiny suit and a load of blather - as bad as estate agents. But she did as her boss said and sent Mr Parker an email.

\------------------

In Willingden, Sidney looked up from his computer screen as Charlotte rapped on the window and beckoned him outside. Getting up, he found Charlotte and her niece, Janey, loading Alison’s luggage into the back of her car. 

“You know you can buy things in Australia,” her daughter was saying. “You don’t have to take quite so much with you!”

“It’s six weeks though and in a campervan. I don’t want to be washing clothes all the time.”

“Knowing Crowe,” said Sidney. “I expect he has even more bags than you.”

“You’re going to have the best time,” said Charlotte, hugging her sister.

“You’ll look after Janey, won’t you?” whispered Alison, hugging her back. “Find out what’s wrong, why she was able to take so long off work to cover for me.”

“Of course,” Charlotte whispered back.

Sidney hugged his sister-in-law good-bye as well and then she and Janey got into the car and drove off to the airport.

Sidney put his arm around his wife as they waved them off. “You’re going to miss her,” he said.

“I will, yes. But it’ll be fun to have Janey around.”

“Henry said he’s looking forward to spending time with her too.”

“You don’t think…?”

Sidney rolled his eyes. “You and your match-making. They’re cousins, remember.”

“Only by marriage.”

“Anyway, I’ve got something to show you. Can you spare a moment before you go back to work?”

Back in their home, Sidney showed her the email he had just received. 

“Our old university!” said Charlotte, laughing. 

“Do you want to come with me? Have a walk down memory lane while I go and talk to this historian woman?”

“I’d love to.”

\----------------------

A couple of days later, Sidney and Charlotte drove into the visitors’ car park at the university where they had first met. 

“It looks so different,” said Charlotte, getting out of the car. 

“Shall we see if we can find our old halls of residence?” said Sidney. 

They strolled through the campus, marvelling at the changes that had occurred since they were last there. Modern blocks of seminar rooms and lecture halls seemed to have sprung up all over the place. Crowds of young people, chattering and laughing moved from one building to another.

“Were we ever that young?” said Charlotte, watching them hurrying from place to place.

“Seems hard to imagine, doesn’t it?” Sidney replied and then pointed. “Wasn’t our hall just there?”

They stared at the space where the old red-brick building had once been. Now it was a pleasant square with benches, pots of snowdrops and a fishpond. 

“Our past has been torn down!” said Charlotte.

“It’s still vivid in my memory,” said Sidney, looking at her and smiling. “This is where I fell in love.”

Charlotte smiled back at him. “I think you’re rewriting history there.”

“Can we not rewrite our history if we find it disagreeable.”

Charlotte frowned slightly. “That sounds familiar - I’m sure I’ve heard it somewhere before.”

“I can’t remember where I read it, but it’s apt, don’t you think?” He looked at his watch. “I should be off. You sure you don’t want to come with me?”

“No, you go. I want to check out some of my old haunts. See if you can find me when you’re done.”

Charlotte wandered off and Sidney headed over to the History department, which was still where it had been in his day. This building was untouched by the change wrought elsewhere on the campus. He had a sudden flashback to his young self. Charlotte was right. He hadn’t fallen in love with her then; there had been no room in his heart for love; it had been too full of anger and grief. He shook his head as if to shake the memory away. That was all a long time ago. Now he was here to find out something that had happened even further back in history. He checked the room number Dr Crawford had given him and set off to find her office.

Elizabeth heard a tap on her door and sighed before calling out, “Come in.” She hadn’t been looking forward to seeing Mr Parker, but here he was and on time. However, the man who came through her door was completely unlike anyone she had expected. Although much older than her - in his mid-50s she guessed - he was the most handsome man she had ever seen in real life. Dark hair touched with grey, dark eyes, a sensuous mouth, firm cheekbones...

“Dr Crawford?” he said. “I’m Sidney Parker.”

She stood and shook his hand before waving him towards a seat by her desk. The look on his face and the grip of his handshake revealed no attraction to her, she thought with irritation. She knew she was a striking woman and was used to the flare of attraction she usually provoked in the eyes of men she met. But this gorgeous man seemed unmoved.

“Did you find me alright?” she asked, looking at him straight in the eyes, determined that he notice her good looks.

“Yes, fine. I actually used to study here. In this building - philosophy though, not history.”

“Is this your first time back?” she said with a smile. 

“Yes. It’s changed so much - not this building, but a lot of the campus. I had a look round with my wife just now - she was here too. She’s off trying to find if there’s anywhere she still recognises. ”

Of course there’s a wife, thought Elizabeth. No matter. “So, Mr Parker…”

“Sidney, please.”

“And I’m Elizabeth. So Sidney, you think my Mary Parker is an ancestor of yours?”

“Bound to be.” He then explained his family’s history and connection to Sanditon. She leaned towards him as he spoke.

“That’s fascinating,” she said. “And your name, Sidney, is that a family name?”

“Yes, Sidney and Thomas seem to appear over and over again - we’re obviously a family with little imagination when it comes to choosing names. Why do you ask? Does my name show up in the letters?”

“It certainly does. Would you like to see them?” She moved her chair to be closer to his and showed him the first letter, which she had enclosed in a plastic file for protection. “Can you read it ok? Sometimes the handwriting can be difficult to decipher.”  


Sidney bent over the sheet of parchment, trying to ignore the woman sitting too close to him. As he read, however, it was easy to forget she was there. He had to bite back a laugh at one point, but Elizabeth, who had been watching his face, noticed something.

“What is it?”

“Nothing, it’s just… Can I take a picture of the letter?”

“Yes, of course.”

Sidney took a snap with his phone and then asked, “And the other letters? Have you read them too?”

She had, but she suddenly realised that if she lied, she could see this beautiful man again. “I’ve only just started to study these letters. Could I come down to Sanditon? You could show me around and we could have a look at the next letter. My head of department is very keen that the scholarship we do here is shared with the wider community.” She gave him her most winning smile.

Sidney was torn between wanting to know what was in the rest of the letters and at the same time not wanting to encourage her obvious interest in him. “Of course. Come visit Sanditon. My nephew, Henry is very interested in family history. He would love to show you around. And maybe you can send me photos of the rest of the letters.”

“Oh I think I can do better than that,” said Elizabeth, determined not to be put off. “I’ll bring them with me when I come so you can read the real thing.”

Sidney smiled and stood up. “I should go find my wife. Thank you for your time. Let me know when you can come down.” He shook Elizabeth’s hand again and left the office.

“Not writing a leaflet, Miss Heywood? Whatever’s wrong with you?” said Sidney, sitting down next to Charlotte in the Student Union bar.

Charlotte looked up from the free student newspaper she was reading, took off her glasses, and smiled at him. “So you found me then?”

“I knew you’d be here. It was always the first place I looked for you.”

“Look at this,” she said, pointing at an ad in the paper. “They’re having an 80s disco - we could go and feel completely at home!”

“There was a poster in the History department for a seminar on protest and politics in Thatcher’s Britain. The 1980s is now studied by historians!”

“I could go along and be a genuine historical artifact!”

They looked at each other with mock horror.

“Anyway, how did your meeting go? Was it interesting?”

“The letters are intriguing, but I only got to see one of them. I’ve taken a photo of it - I really want to show it to you, but not yet, if you don’t mind.” He smiled at her.

“Why? What’s in it?”

“Just something I think you’ll enjoy, but I want to see what’s in the rest of them first and then I’ll show you.”

“Very mysterious.”

Her face suddenly softened and she reached for his hand. “Are you ok, Sidney, being back? You were such a sad boy when we were last here.”

He took her hand and kissed it. “Thank you for asking. I did have a flashback when I went into the Humanities building. I really was a mess in those days, wasn’t I?”

She smiled at him. “You were young and you were grieving. You couldn’t really have been anything else. As long as coming back hasn’t been too painful for you.”

He smiled back at her. “No. Because I’m here with you.” 

“Good,” she said. “So what’s the historian like?”

Sidney frowned. “A bit flirty…”

“Oh Sidney, not again…” An image came to her of the usually taciturn postwoman who kept Sidney talking on the doorstep and the memory of the woman who had stuffed her phone number in his hand while they were at the supermarket.

“She wants to come to Sanditon - I’ve suggested Henry might show her around.”

“Good idea. Will Henry like her?”

“She’s more his age. And she’s a good-looking woman, he’ll like that, I’m sure,” he grinned.

“So you noticed she was attractive?” Charlotte teased.

“It was hard to miss. She’s one of those women who know exactly how good they look and are very keen you admire them.”

“Ah. Not your sort at all then. Oh dear, poor woman, she’s going to be very disappointed,” said Charlotte, standing up. “Shall we go?”

Sidney stood up too and said, “Should I worry that you’re not a little bit jealous?”

“Oh my love, if I was jealous every time a woman fell for you, I’d be in a constant state of anxiety. I’m better off just standing back and watching these poor women try and fail to win your attention.”

“What did I do to deserve you?” he said, looking at her fondly.

“I don’t know. Just never forget how lucky you are that you married me.”

“I never do.”

Back home, Sidney uploaded the photo of the letter and read it again with a smile:

My dear Fanny,

I must apologise for the lateness of this letter. - I fear I have alarmed you by my silence. - The explanation though is quickly given. - We were returning home from attempting to secure a physician for the town, when we met with a most unfortunate accident. Our carriage lost a wheel and tipped right over! A young woman with a host of children around her - brothers and sisters as we later learned - came to our rescue. Poor Thomas suffered a sprained ankle and we were forced to rely on the hospitality of this good family for several days whilst both carriage and ankle were mended. - We have now returned home and have brought with us our kind rescuer, Miss Harwood, who will stay with us for the season. - Thomas, of course, is keen to recruit another admirer of Sanditon. Whilst I, I must confess, am simply happy to have another woman to talk to, for as you know, Thomas is single-minded when it comes to his project and is, too often, unable to speak of anything else. Miss Harwood is a sweet girl and already a favourite with the Children. 

Your affectionate sister  
Mary 

Thursday evening. - We are now getting ready for our first ball. - Sidney has arrived with two of his fashionable friends. You know how I worry about him. He does give off the wrong impression. Why, this morning, Miss Harwood and I were walking to Sanditon House when Sidney’s carriage came upon us. Before I could introduce our guest to him, you’ll never guess what he enquired. “New maid?” New maid, indeed! He really can be so abrupt and inattentive at times. And yet I know he has a good heart. If only we could see him settled. - Now I must get this off in the post so you need worry no longer about my silence.


	2. Past Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please be aware that there are references to still-birth and bereavement in this chapter.

One evening later that week, Charlotte was on her own in the B&B kitchen, making bread. She took the risen dough, separated it and plopped it into the waiting bread tins, before placing them in the oven. She thought about Janey, who was out with Henry, and wondered if they could be more than just friends and cousins. Janey had certainly seemed excited, chatting away to Charlotte before she went out. She laughed at herself. Was it a sign she was getting older, this desire to see everyone settled? 

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard Sidney’s car draw up. The outside door opened and in came Sidney, shivering.

“It’s cold out,” he said. “But cosy in here. And that bread smells good.” He came over and kissed her.

“You are cold!” she said shrieking, as he stuck his cold hands under her top. 

“How was Alicia?”

“Big, tired, radiant... She thanked you for the meals.” Sidney sat down at the kitchen counter. “And… she asked me to tell her the truth about Edward.”

“Oh. And did you?”

“Yes. She said she needed to know.”

“And? How did she take it?”

Sidney sighed. “She’d obviously been thinking about it a lot already. She’d guessed that Edward wasn’t all he seemed. But finding out that he was carrying out Eliza’s plan was beyond anything she had imagined.”

“Oh poor girl.”

“I know.” They looked at each other for a moment. Then Sidney said, “She asked me if I would be at the birth with her.”

“Really?” said Charlotte, surprised. “I thought she would ask Fred.”

“She thinks it’s too much to ask of him.”

“I don’t think he thinks that.”

“No, I don’t either. But she’s terrified of messing it up with him. Whatever ‘it’ is. I think they’re still just good friends.”

“How do you feel about it? Being at the hospital with her?”

“A bit sad for her really. That she hasn’t got her mum to ask… only her old uncle.”

Charlotte had a sudden flashback to herself giving birth. That deafening silence when no baby cried. Her world caving in. James had been with her, but it was her own mother she had wanted. That primordial need for the person who gave you life to be there, when that life changed irrevocably. She looked at Sidney with understanding. 

As if sensing Charlotte’s thoughts, Sidney reached for her hand and said gently, “Is this ok for you? All this talk about giving birth. If it’s too painful, just say.”

Charlotte smiled gratefully at him and squeezed his hand. “As long as I don’t have to be anywhere near the hospital, I’ll be fine. I… I don’t think I could bear it. I’d be so scared for her - I couldn’t put that on her.”

“There’s no way I would put you through reliving what you went through,” said Sidney, picking up her hand and kissing it. 

“Thank you,” said Charlotte. “Once he or she is here, I’ll be as hands on as required.”

“I know you will.”

They looked at each other and then Charlotte brightened and said, “I think that’s quite an honour, Alicia asking you. I don’t expect there are many uncles who get to watch their first great niece or nephew be born. You’d better find out what’s expected of you, learn all about breathing and whatnot.”

Sidney laughed and said, “Maybe I should. I hadn’t really thought about all the nitty gritty. Anyway, her due date’s still a month away. I’ve got time. Are you going to be here long?”

“Just until Janey comes back.”

“Want me to stay and keep you company?”

She smiled and said, “No, it’s ok. You go. I’ve got some things to get on with here.”

Sidney kissed her and then went back out into the cold and dark, crossing the yard and letting himself into their little home. He stacked some logs into the woodburner and lit the firelighters. Then he poured himself a whisky and sat down on the sofa where he could watch the flames. Bennet the cat appeared and curled up next to him. As he idly scratched the cat’s head, Sidney let his thoughts drift. The historian had emailed him to say she would like to visit Sanditon on Saturday. She had attached another of the letters in which Mary Parker complained about her husband, Thomas. This led Sidney to think of his own brother, also called Tom. And now Tom’s daughter was having her own child. Which made him ponder his own parents…

Back in the B&B kitchen, Charlotte had taken her loaves from the oven and let them cool before shaking them from their tins ready to be served for breakfast the following day. There were only two couples staying with them at the moment - February was always a quiet month - but this cold dark time of year meant a good breakfast was always much appreciated. She was just finishing washing up and wiping down the sides when Janey returned home. Her cheeks were rosy from the cold and her eyes were bright.

“Have a good time?” said Charlotte, smiling at her niece.

“Really good,” said Janey, not able to stop a big grin splitting across her face.

Charlotte laughed. “Cup of tea?”

Janey pulled off her coat and gloves and sat down at the counter as Charlotte put the kettle on. “So what did you do?” said Charlotte.

“We just went out for a drink. At the Plough. And talked and… I don’t know,” she laughed.

“What is it?”

“It’s just, I know we’re cousins, but…”

“But you like him as more than that?”

Janey blushed and whispered, “Yes.”

“And what about him, do you think he likes you in the same way?” 

“I don’t know... I think so… He’s just so easy to talk to and we laugh at the same things and… He’s showing that historian woman around Sanditon on Saturday and he asked me if I’d come too… I can, can’t I? I said I needed to check the rota.”

“Of course you can go.” 

Charlotte poured the tea and Janey picked up her mug, wrapping her hands around it before saying, “But it’s complicated, isn’t it? What happens if we get together and then it doesn’t work out? We’ll still have to see each other…”

“I wouldn’t worry about what may or may not happen some time in the future,” said Charlotte. “Just enjoy things now and see where they go.”

Janey took a sip of her tea and then said, “Can I ask you something?” Charlotte nodded so Janey plunged on, “How… how do you know if a boy likes you?”

Charlotte burst out laughing. “Oh Janey, I wish I could tell you! That’s the ultimate question we all ask ourselves.”  


Janey's face fell. “Really? There’s no way of knowing?”

“Well, if you’re lucky, they tell you themselves. And of course if you're brave you can ask them. But usually it’s more guesswork - do they look at you straight in the eye? Keep eye contact a bit longer than usual? Find reasons to be with you?”

Janey’s smile split her face again. “I’m glad I came back. Not just because of Henry. I’ve missed this too, chatting to you here, in this kitchen. We used to have lots of good chats here, didn’t we?”

“You’d bring your homework in and I’d try and help you… I don’t think I was much help, was I?”

Janey laughed. “No! You and mum puzzling over my maths homework was always really unhelpful. But you got me thinking about all sorts of issues which was good. And remember when you and mum read Pride and Prejudice because I had to do it for GCSE and we had all those cool discussions about marriage and class and money?”

Charlotte thought back and smiled. “I’m very glad you’re here too. Now, if you’re still ok to be on call tonight I’ll be off. See you tomorrow morning.”

Charlotte let herself out of the kitchen and returned home across the yard. As she let herself in, she was surprised to see the living room was dark, except for the glow from the woodburner. She switched on a lamp and then saw Sidney sitting on the sofa.

“What are you doing sitting here in the dark?” she said. 

He didn’t turn round, but carried on staring at the fire. As she walked towards him, she saw to her alarm that his cheeks were wet. Sitting down, next to him she said gently, “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Sidney wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and finally turned to look at her. “I was thinking about my brother and my parents.”

“Oh Sidney,” she said. “Is this because of Alicia?”

“Partly - and going back to our old university and reading those letters.”

“You never talk to me about your mum and dad and brother - you can do, you know.”

“I know I can. But I usually don’t let myself think about them. I used to stop myself thinking because otherwise I felt overwhelmed. And then I stopped thinking because I had to be strong for the children. But now there’s going to be a new baby and none of them are here to see that. Just me. I suddenly felt all alone.” He looked at his wife’s concerned face and added, “But I’m not alone, am I? You’re here.”

“I am here, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that all your closest family died suddenly. I can only try and imagine what that was like for you. It’s a huge thing, Sidney.”

“It all happened so long ago. I should have got over it by now.”

“Says who? It doesn’t matter when it happened. Grief can come and knock you off your feet at any time. I’m not surprised this new baby is setting things off for you. It’s ok to feel sad, Sidney, it really is.”

He leant over and kissed her. “You are the wisest person I know,” he said smiling at her. “Thank you for being here with me.”

She smiled back, “Where else would I be?”

Sidney put his arm around her shoulders and she wrapped her arm around his waist and together they sat and watched the flames dance. 

\---------------------

My dear Fanny

The Children were delighted with your letters, as I fancy they will tell you themselves before this is concluded. - You will be pleased to know the ball was a great success. Thomas is most gratified and his plans for Sanditon grow ever more extravagant.- As I have mentioned to you more than once, dear Fanny, Thomas has two wives, myself and Sanditon and I’d hesitate to say which one he cares for most. - Our weather I fancy has been just like yours, we have had some very delightful days, but we have always wanted a fire within doors, at least except for the middle of the day. - I hope it is true that Edward Taylor is to marry his cousin Martha. Those beautiful dark eyes will then adorn another Generation at least in all their purity. - Our Miss Harwood has proved herself to be most enthusiastic about everything our town has to offer and is proving herself to be of the greatest assistance to Thomas in matters of paperwork and organisation. -Today marked a most welcome change in relations between Miss Harwood and Sidney. There has been a marked coldness between the two which has sorely grieved me. I wish I could name the cause but it has eluded me. Nevertheless, today I sent Miss Harwood out to fetch Sidney and the children in for tea and they all came back smiling and with plans to hold a Regatta!

Your affectionate sister  
Mary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bits in these letters that don't relate to the Sanditon story are taken from letters Jane Austen wrote to her sister, Cassandra. The use of dashes to separate different subjects is also what she did, as well as the signing off as 'Your affectionate sister.'


	3. A Tour of Sanditon

Janey met Henry at the Meeting Place cafe in Sanditon. She had taken extra care over her appearance, her long brown curls were loose down her back and she wore a red sweater, short black skirt, wooly tights and boots. Henry smiled broadly when he saw her. She loved the way he looked, his tousled sandy hair and bright blue eyes, his strong body bundled up in a big brown jumper. 

“Ready for our guided tour?” he said.

“I need some coffee first - it’s freezing.” She went to the counter and ordered a cappuccino. Back at the table she said, “Have you met this woman yet?”

“No,” he replied. “Uncle Sidney just said she was more our age than his and that she wanted to see the parts of town connected to our family - which is basically all of it.”

“It’ll be interesting for me too. I don’t know much about Sanditon except bits you and Sidney have told me,” said Janey. 

“Hope she’s not like some of my lecturers at uni, very dry and severe,” said Henry. “But at least with you here, it’ll be fun whatever.”

Janey beamed at him. He then looked beyond her head and she saw his eyes go wide. 

Turning around to see what he was looking at, Janey saw Sidney and a stunning woman approaching their table. The woman was tall and slim with straight black hair, a creamy complexion and striking deep blue eyes. Her pale pink wool coat hung from her frame like a model. As she took off her coat, she revealed a grey cashmere crop cardigan and charcoal wool trousers. Beside this glamour and sophistication, Janey felt suddenly both squat and dowdy. When she noticed Henry’s attention focussed on the newcomer, that feeling changed to a sense of being completely invisible.

“So Elizabeth, this is Henry and Janey, my nephew and niece,” said Sidney. “They’re going to be giving you a guided tour of Sanditon.”

Sidney had not yet sat down and Elizabeth turned round and placed her hand on his arm, saying, “Won’t you join us too?”

Janey thought that was a strangely intimate gesture, but hoped Sidney would say yes; after looking forward to this afternoon, she suddenly didn’t want to be on her own with Henry and this woman. She wasn’t sure if her face had expressed as much, but after quickly glancing at her and at Henry, Sidney sat down and said, “I can come to the old house, but you’ll be in good hands here. Henry’s our family historian - he even studied it at university.”

Suddenly interested, Elizabeth focussed her gaze on Henry and said, “Where did you go?”

“Oxford.”

Fully engaged now, she said, “Me too. Which college?”

There then followed a discussion of their former colleges, their comparative merits and when they had been there. Listening to them, Janey’s sense of insignificance grew more intense. Janey hadn’t been to Oxford or Cambridge or anything close. She had been an average student - average in most things. No particular talents, no overriding ambition. She liked cooking, she reminded herself, but then chided herself - she would never be as good as her Aunt Charlotte who could make anything delicious. She was almost 26 and had no job, no career, and no idea of what she would do with her life. It had been good talking to Henry the other day. She had told him some of what had happened in her previous job and he had been sympathetic and encouraging. She had felt flattered that he - who always seemed so self-assured and knowledgeable - actually seemed to enjoy her company. And yet now, watching him talk so easily with this worldly woman, she felt sure he had just been humouring her, looking out for his younger cousin. 

Sidney was also listening to the conversation, but he was thinking how rude they were to be discussing their privileged education to the exclusion of Janey. He was cross with Henry for not being more aware of his cousin, who appeared forlorn and rejected at his side. She looked so much like Charlotte had done when she was young, it made him instinctively fond of her. If she hadn’t been on the other side of the table, he would have whispered something comforting to her. Instead, he tried to halt the conversation by standing up again and saying, “I’m going to get a drink, anyone want anything?”

Elizabeth looked up at him and said, “Could I have a lapsang souchong, very weak and just a tiny splash of oat milk?” before going back to her conversation with Henry. Sidney looked over at Janey and was pleased to see her trying to suppress a smirk. He went to the counter, sure they would have neither lapsang souchong nor oat milk and took special pleasure in returning with something rather different.

Elizabeth had finally included Janey in the conversation and was asking her, “And what did you study?”

“Marketing,” said Janey shortly. She saw the disdain on the woman’s face. There were no follow up questions. Janey was sure that Marketing was not a subject taught at either Oxford or Cambridge Universities. Janey swallowed the last of her coffee. Usually she would scoop up all the froth and chocolate left in her cup, but next to this elegant and superior woman, she felt it would be a childish and gauche thing to do. 

Sidney spoke again, “Henry, tell Elizabeth who we think this Mary Parker was.”

Henry launched into a history of Mary and her husband Thomas, the founder of Sanditon the resort. “... and so we can visit their house first. It’s actually where Uncle Sidney grew up and then me and my sisters.”

“Your parents still live there?”

“My parents died when I was five. Uncle Sidney brought us up after that.”

Elizabeth looked surprised. “I’m sorry,” she said. “So who lives there now? Do they mind us visiting?”

“It’s a community centre now,” said Henry proudly. “We gave it up because it was built with money from slavery. Now it’s used to benefit everyone.”

If Elizabeth had looked surprised before, she now looked astonished. “That’s quite a… well, good for you.” 

The four of them left the cafe and made their way to the community centre, just off the seafront. Sidney remembered when he had brought Charlotte here, almost five years ago. How eager he had been to tell Charlotte that knowing her had made him a better person. He had to bite back a smile and had a sudden desire to be back at home with her rather than helping to show this woman around. At the door, he said, “I need a word with Jim, you go on ahead without me.”  
He stepped into the office by the front door, as Henry started to point out what used to be the drawing room. Sidney chatted to Jim who was sitting in there, but when he heard Henry’s voice drifting further down the hallway, he slipped out and walked quickly back to his car.

When Henry had finished his tour of the ground floor, Elizabeth said, “I wonder where Sidney is?”  
Before continuing the tour upstairs, they went to the office where Jim informed them that something had come up and Sidney had left, but hoped they’d enjoy the tour without him. Janey, finding Henry’s evident fixation on impressing Elizabeth both irritating and deeply hurtful, said, “I should be going too.”

Henry looked at his cousin in surprise, “Really? I thought you had all afternoon free.”

“I do, but I feel bad about it. Charlotte is at work all on her own and I should be helping her.”

With a quick “Bye” she ran out and headed home too.

\---------------

When Sidney returned home, Charlotte was in the B&B kitchen listening to the radio and making shortbread. 

“You’re early,” she said.

He smiled at her. “I had an urge to see you.”

“You see me all the time!” she laughed.

“I know, but going to the community centre with Henry and Janey and the historian reminded me of that day when I showed you around for the first time.”

“That was a good day.” Charlotte smiled.

“A very good day.”

“I couldn’t believe how much you had changed,” she said. “Or not changed, so much as improved.”

“Whereas you were just as lovely as you had always been.”

She snorted. “I certainly wasn’t lovely when we first met!” She smiled at him, “But I think we’ve both improved with age.” She then added, “Did you abandon your new historian friend to come back home?”

“I did, but I got a copy of another of those letters from her first. Anyway, Henry and Janey will look after her. I think Henry’s a little smitten.”

“Oh no. Really?” Her face fell.

“Why that look?”

“Janey likes him.”

“Ah.”

As if on cue, the kitchen door opened and Janey came in. 

“You’re back early,” said Charlotte. “I thought you would be out all afternoon.” She returned to her mixing bowl and ingredients.

“You’re making shortbread? Can I help?”

“This is almost done, but shall we make a cake too?” 

Janey smiled at her gratefully and nodded.

Sidney knew he should make himself scarce. “I’ll leave you to it then,” he said and headed for the door.

“Come back in a bit and have some tea and shortbread with us,” said Charlotte. 

Janey had always enjoyed baking with her aunt and it was always easier to talk when you had something to do together. Charlotte pushed her shortbread dough into the prepared trays and Janey started measuring ingredients for a lemon drizzle cake. They were quiet for a while, the only sounds being the music from the radio and the sound of rain hitting the windows. Then Janey started to talk. 

“I didn’t take a leave of absence from work to come here. I quit my job.”

“Why was that? You said you liked it.”

“I lied. I hated it. I hate marketing. I don’t know why I did it at uni. You never thought it was a good idea, did you?”

“Was it that obvious?” Charlotte laughed. “I tried to be supportive.”

“You were, but your lack of enthusiasm for my choice spoke volumes.”

“I’m sorry. But I never understood why you wanted to do it.”

“It’s silly, but I had this vision of myself in this little suit, strutting around in high heels, going to meetings with clients and being creative and efficient.”

“And is that how it was?”

“I had the suit and the heels but I never felt efficient and there wasn’t much chance to be creative. It was like really competitive, you know? and the people at work were all smiley to your face and then bitchy behind your back. There was this pressure to go out after work and London is so expensive! And my rent was really dear too and I never had enough money. And then my last appraisal was crap. They said I had to work harder and be more assertive. It was horrible, so humiliating. And then mum told me about her trip and I just thought, I want to come home. So I lied to her and told her I could get time off work and come cover for her.”

“Janey, that sounds horrible,” Charlotte looking at her niece, appalled. “You know you could have told us what was going on. There’s no shame in trying out a career and then realising it’s not for you.”

“I didn’t want to admit I’d got it all so wrong. And I still have to pay my student loans off. Such a waste of money.”

“Why are you telling me all this now,” said Charlotte gently, reaching for the lemons and the grater.

Janey said nothing for a moment as she started cracking the eggs. She added them to the cake mixture and the sound of the electric beater saved her from having to speak. Then she switched it off and turned to Charlotte. “I felt so good being back here. I love working in the B&B and it was great seeing Henry. We had such a laugh and I felt like me again, you know? And then today, with that historian woman, it was like I was back at work, feeling inadequate and immature. Oh god, Charlotte, she’s like gorgeous. All long limbs and swishy black hair. And there’s me, all hips and unmanageable curls. And Henry, he was like a dog with his tongue out…”

Charlotte looked at her open sweet face, her tumbling long hair and womanly curves and felt anger at this university academic who could make her beautiful brilliant niece feel so insecure. She asked, “Is she nice, at least?”

“Not particularly. Only interested in Henry because they both went to Oxford. Hardly noticed I was there when she found out I wasn’t some academic brainbox.”

“She sounds horrible. I don’t think Sidney’s too keen on her either.”

“Isn’t he?”

“No. You know what, I bet she ignored you because she was jealous of your lovely curvy figure. Us Heywood women have always been known for our curves.” She grinned at her niece.

Janey looked at her, unconvinced. “Our figures are famous then?”

“We’re in the history books, under ‘Famous Voluptuous Women’.”

Janey laughed. “Nice try, Charlotte. You know full well, that really we’re just squat and dumpy.”

“Speak for yourself, young lady. I’m going with ‘voluptuous’.”

Janey grinned. She turned the beater on again. When the batter was ready for the flour to be folded in, she said, “And she ordered a weak lapsang souchong with…” she put on a posh voice, “just the tiniest splash of oat milk.” 

“She didn’t, did she? Does the Meeting Place even have such rarities?”

“Well, Sidney brought her something. But she only drank a few sips of it and then left the rest.”

“That’s because it was disgusting.”

“I know!” cried Janey. “What’s wrong with choosing a drink that actually tastes nice?”

“Probably because she’s more bothered by how her choices sound than actually enjoying what she puts in her mouth. What have I always taught you?”

“Never trust someone who doesn’t like to eat.”

“Well remembered.”

The cake was put in the oven and the shortbread taken out. Janey suddenly went to the radio and turned the sound up. It was Sister Sledge and ‘We Are Family.’

“Remember that dance routine we made up to this?” said Janey.

“Vaguely,” said Charlotte. “How did it go?” She went and stood next to her niece and started to copy her moves.

Sidney, coming back across the yard, saw them through the window. There was his wife, arms waving in the air, matching the movements of their niece, both with great big smiles on their faces. It looked like it was safe to come back in. He opened the kitchen door and stood there watching, the two women concentrating too hard on their moves and the music to notice him at first. When they did, they stopped and laughed, both a bit bashful. 

“Don’t stop on account of me,” said Sidney. “That was great. Jenny and Alicia had all sorts of dance routines they tried to teach me and Henry - not very successfully, I’m afraid.”

Janey giggled as she looked at this tall imposing man and imagined him dancing along with three little children. She giggled again when Sidney said, “I’ll have a weak lapsang souchong with just the tiniest splash of oat milk” as Charlotte turned the kettle on.

“Is that what you really got her?” asked Janey, curiously.

“Of course not,” said Sidney with a grin. “I didn’t even bother asking for it. I just asked for the most disgusting tea they had and they found an old teabag that was lying on the shelf for years, dipped it in some lukewarm water and added full fat milk.”

Janey and Charlotte both slapped their hands over their mouths in horror. 

“She didn’t even notice though, did she?” continued Sidney. “I was watching and there wasn’t even a flicker of surprise when she tasted it.” 

“Not so clever then, after all is she Janey?” said Charlotte.

Janey laughed and felt a whole lot better.

\-----------------------

My dear Fanny,

I take the first sheet of this fine striped paper to thank you for your letter from Weymouth, and express my hopes of your being at Ibthrop before this time. - You found my letter at Andover, I hope, yesterday, and have now for many hours been satisfied that your kind anxiety on my behalf was as much thrown away as kind anxiety usually is. I continue quite well; in proof of which I have bathed again this morning. - As for news from here, I must confess that I was beginning to see our Miss Harwood in the guise of sister-in-law. Sidney had been like a man renewed, these past few days and I believe that it was dear Miss Harwood who had wrought this change in him. The little glances exchanged between them warmed my heart. But, alas, something has occurred between them which has led to a renewal of their initial coolness. I am not sure of the cause, but I believe it has something to do with a difference over Sidney’s ward, Miss Lambe. - I must tell you that Charles’ rug will be finished to-day and sent tomorrow to Frank to be consigned by him to Mr Turner’s care.

Your affectionate sister  
Mary

Saturday evening. - I put this letter to one side as I had to leave for the annual cricket match. And now, dear sister, I have to tell you I am most ashamed and angered. There was a great disturbance at the match. Thomas said something to the workers, I did not catch, and they then declared that they had not been paid! And all along Thomas has assured me that all is well. He even purchased a very pretty necklace for me - only the other day! To prove how prosperous the business was. I could have borne anything, anything at all, if only he had confided in me. And now he has gone to London, to make amends he says. But how can I believe anything he says. The worst of it is, it is not just me he is lying to but to his own self. 

Saturday night. - I was just about to put this letter out for the post when I made the discovery that Miss Harwood has gone to London too! Miss Lambe has gone missing and she feels responsible, heaven knows why. She pleaded with me to be allowed to follow her to London which I expressly forbid and yet she has gone, regardless. To say I am distressed by the events of today would hardly be a misrepresentation.


	4. Ordinary Women

Janey felt better after confessing that she had left her job, but she was still in pain when she thought of Henry and that woman. This feeling worsened when Henry invited her on a trip to Brighton Museum to show Elizabeth historical artifacts belonging to the Parker family.

“I can’t come, I need to work,” she said.

“I haven’t told you which day we’re going yet. Come on, it’ll be fun.”

“I… I don’t want to come.”

“Why ever not?”

What could she say? She couldn’t possibly admit it was because she was jealous. In the end she said, “I’d go if it was just with you, but I don’t like her very much.”

“Really?” he sounded surprised. “But she’s so interesting. We had this awesome conversation after you went on Saturday, about women in the nineteenth century and all the financial pressures they faced. I think you’d have enjoyed it.”

“Sounds fascinating,” Janey said, before she could stop herself.

Henry caught the sarcasm in her voice, and said, hurt, “Ok, we’ll go without you then,” and ended the call.

Janey could have kicked herself. She felt she had pushed him further away - and closer to that woman. But the plight of women in the twenty-first century and their financial pressures were a more pressing issue for her now - and she was hurt that Henry didn’t see that.

Poverty was also a concern for Charlotte, who had been regularly helping at the food bank housed in Sanditon’s community centre. Charlotte wanted to help Janey explore the skills she had and to see what sort of job she might be better suited to than marketing. To this end she roped Janey in to help make bread and cakes for her fortnightly delivery to the centre. Janey was keen to come with her, this time to see the building not as a historical site but as a place that served the community. There was always a need for more volunteers and Charlotte encouraged her to give up some of her time, to see if she might like a job helping other people.

The following Saturday, Charlotte and Janey packed up their bakery goods plus a large box of vegetables from the garden, and headed for Sanditon. Elizabeth would be in town - to bring Sidney another letter - and Charlotte said she would meet them later. First, they stopped at the centre and she and Janey each carried a box into the food bank. On returning to the car for the last box, Charlotte saw a woman hovering around outside. 

“You can go straight in,” Charlotte said to her.

“Oh, I don’t know,” the woman said. “Maybe I’ll just go on home.”

Charlotte looked at her. The woman looked very pale and slight, her thin grey hair tied back in a scrawny bun, her shabby lightweight coat inadequate for the weather. “It’s freezing out here,” said Charlotte. “Why don’t you come in with me and have a nice hot drink.”

The woman looked at her uncertainly, but came anyway. “I just need to put this box in here,” Charlotte said and pushed open the door to the food bank. The woman followed her in and Charlotte saw her eyes grow round at the sight of all the food piled up. 

“Whose is all this?” the woman asked.

“It’s for whoever needs it,” Charlotte replied and then added, gently, “Would you like me to make you up a bag?”

The woman took a step back, saying, “Oh no, I couldn’t possibly…no, no, there’s no need...”

Charlotte smiled at her sympathetically and said, “Let’s have that cup of tea. And something to eat too?” She steered the woman out of the room and into the cafe which was just starting to open for lunch. Sitting the woman down at a table, Charlotte went over to the counter to say hello to the refugee women who ran the cafe. She explained what she needed and then went back to sit with the woman.

“I’m Charlotte.”

“Caroline Griffiths.”

One of the cafe women brought over two teas and Caroline immediately put her hands around the mug as if she were chilled to the bone.

“Do you live in Sanditon?” Charlotte asked.

“Yes, just on the edge of town.”

The woman came back with two plates of food and set them down. “There’s a little bit of everything here, I hope you like it,” she said and Caroline looked at the plate heaped with rice, a rich vegetable stew, meatballs, and stewed aubergine.

“I can’t possibly eat all that!” she said, before starting to eat in such a way that let Charlotte know this was the first proper meal Caroline had eaten in quite a while. 

Charlotte ate too, more to keep the woman company than because she was particularly hungry herself. When Caroline had finished, her plate now spotless, she sat back in her chair and said, “That was delicious.”

“The food’s good here,” said Charlotte. “And very reasonable.”

Caroline looked a little panicked and took a faded purse out of her coat pocket. “How much…?”

“My treat,” said Charlotte and Caroline smiled in relief.

Charlotte told her a bit about the centre and what it provided and then asked her some more questions about herself. Eventually she extracted the story of a career in teaching brought short when her parents had both become ill. Caroline had cared for them for years, sacrificing her chances of career, marriage and a family of her own. Since they had died, she was on her own, unemployed, with debts and had just had her benefits slashed as a penalty for not applying for enough jobs. “But Charlotte, there aren’t any jobs I can apply for at my age and anyway I’m worn out.”

Charlotte felt her heart contract in sorrow and pity. There but for the grace of god, she thought, that could have been me. What would have happened to her if her parents hadn’t left her and Alison the farmhouse? She could so easily have slipped through society’s cracks as well.

“I cared for my parents too, until they died,” said Charlotte. “It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.”

Caroline looked at her gratefully. “It’s what you do though, isn’t it? I loved my parents, I couldn’t not be there for them when they needed me.”

“I know exactly what you mean.” She wanted to say what she really thought; that despite doing it for love, caring was also relentless, unbearable and exhausting. Instead she said, “It’s just sometimes, it’s all a bit too much, isn’t it? A bit too painful, a bit too tiring. And there’s no salary.”

Caroline suddenly gripped her hand and said fiercely, “It was more than a bit too much. It was _all_ too much! And it isn’t fair! It’s ordinary women like you and me who do all the caring and who cares about us? I shouldn’t have to come here and look for charity. I should have had a proper wage for what I did and so should you.” The woman’s tight grip loosened on Charlotte’s hand and she said quietly, “I’m sorry, I don’t know where that came from...” 

“You’re angry and you have every right to be,” said Charlotte, warming to this quiet, surprising woman. “Now, while I’m happy to help you organise a revolution where ordinary women take over…” She was rewarded for this with a sudden bark of laughter, “... in the meantime, I hope you will let me and the centre help you until you’re a bit more financially secure.” 

They got up and returned to the food bank where Janey helped her pack a bag with provisions for the coming week. Then they went to the clothes store and found her a winter coat.

“I don’t want you to think of this as charity,” said Charlotte. “Lots of people who have been in your position donate clothes and food to us when their situations improve. There’s a money advice service that holds drop-in sessions every Tuesday. You should come and see if there’s any more help you can get. And when your circumstances improve, you can then donate clothes and food and so that way everyone helps everyone else.”

Mrs Griffiths squeezed Charlotte’s hand and said. “Thank you. I can’t tell you what this means to me.”  


Charlotte squeezed her hand back and said, “You are very welcome. And I hope to see you back here very soon. I’ll be back in two weeks time. Why don’t we have lunch again then and start organising that revolution?”

“I would like that very much.”

As Charlotte and Janey made their way to the Meeting Place cafe, Charlotte said, “I heard such a sad story in there.”

“Me too,” said Janey. They looked at each other. “I’m not really in the mood now to go to the cafe.”

“I know what you mean.”

“I want to go and shout at someone about why people are so poor.”

Charlotte smiled sadly at her niece and nodded. “I know. We’ll just show our faces and then go home and find someone to email our concerns to.” 

\--------------

In the Meeting Place cafe, Elizabeth brought out the next letter to show Henry and Sidney. Henry was quick to sit closer to her in order to see, but Sidney was still keeping his distance from her. Elizabeth was frustrated. She had never had so little luck with a man before. Henry was typical of the men she usually met. Eager to be close, to spend time with her. She had to admit it was flattering, Henry was a good-looking man. And she had enjoyed their afternoon in Brighton. They had looked through the furniture and paintings that were kept in the museum’s basement, Henry recounting the stories that were attached to some of the items. He was good company and when he had shyly asked if she would have dinner with him, she had agreed. They had found a little Italian restaurant in the Lanes, the tangle of alleyways in the centre of Brighton that held a mishmash of jewellers and places to eat. It had been a pleasant evening, but Henry was a little too young, a little too keen. Especially when compared to his uncle. Elizabeth couldn’t stop thinking of Sidney, this aloof, devastatingly handsome man, who refused to be seduced by her beauty and brains. She was party intrigued, partly wary to meet his wife, to see what sort of woman could beguile a man like this. 

When Elizabeth saw the two women enter the cafe, she recognised the younger one - what was her name again? - who Sidney had originally introduced as his niece. She was evidently related to the older woman, they looked very similar. So this must be the wife. She was a handsome woman, Elizabeth couldn’t deny it, with the sort of curves she had always envied. Definitely middle-aged though, with lines round her mouth and eyes. Was this really her competition? A recent affair with a visiting professor had taught her how much middle-aged men valued smooth skin and vitality over the familiarity of their own rather worn-out wives. And when she looked at Sidney’s wife she saw a woman who looked tired and a bit sad.

Charlotte looked at the historian and knew exactly why she had made Janey feel insecure. Charlotte had praised the Heywood figure because she wanted Janey to feel good about herself, not because she believed herself to be a voluptuous woman. And when she saw Elizabeth’s long slim body and flawless skin, she just felt dumpy and old. But when she took in Elizabeth’s expensive warm clothes and thought of Caroline’s shabby thin coat, she stopped thinking of herself and instead felt a stab of anger at this woman’s evident wealth and privilege. 

Sidney frowned a little when he saw Charlotte. Her face looked pale and drawn. He mouthed the words “Are you ok?” and she gave him a little shake of the head and a quick smile. He introduced her to Elizabeth and then asked if he could get them a drink.

“No, thanks. I’m sorry, we can’t stay long. We need to get back, but we thought we’d just say hello.” Charlotte peered at the paper on the table. “So is this one of those famous letters?”

“It is,” grinned Sidney. “But you can’t see them yet.”

Charlotte smiled at Elizabeth and said, “Sidney’s being very mysterious about these letters. I’m intrigued to know what’s in them.” 

“I’m not sure what the mystery is,” said Elizabeth. “They are certainly very interesting from a historical point of view.”

“And what do you study in particular? Do you have a specialty?”

“I’m particularly interested in the narratives of transformation within women’s lived experience,” Elizabeth replied.

Hearing this, Sidney was surprised, because so far Elizabeth had used no academic jargon with him. Why use it with Charlotte? He had a nasty suspicion she was testing her, trying to prove her superiority. But he knew Charlotte and he therefore knew Elizabeth had chosen the wrong person for this kind of game. He wasn’t disappointed when his wife said coolly, “I’m sorry, I don’t understand what that means.” 

He was pleased to see Elizabeth slightly disconcerted by this honesty. “I’m interested in how ordinary women talk about their own lives,” she explained.

And if this was a competition, Charlotte won the first round when she then said, “Forgive me, but if you’re writing about ordinary women, shouldn’t ordinary women be able to understand what you’re saying?”

He had to put a hand over his mouth to stop himself laughing. Charlotte then stood up and said, “I’m really sorry, but I need to get off. Do you want to come back with me, Janey, or stay and go back with Sidney?”

“I’ll come back with you,” Janey said smiling.

In the car home, Janey was ecstatic. “That was amazing, Charlotte. You really showed her! You were so brave.” 

“Brave? Rude more like. But I don’t like that sort of pretension.”

“I wish I could say what I think like that.”

“It becomes easier as you get older - you just stop caring what people think of you quite so much.”

“Did you see Sidney trying not to laugh?”

Charlotte smiled and focussed on the road ahead.

\---------------------

Sidney found Charlotte back in their home when he got back. She was curled up on the sofa, glasses on, reading a book and enjoying the rest of her day off. She took her glasses off when Sidney entered and looked ruefully at him.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “Being rude to your friend.”

“She deserved it,” he said, taking off his coat and coming to sit with her. “You looked unhappy when you arrived. Did something happen at the centre?”

Charlotte told him about Caroline Griffiths. Sidney grimaced. “However often you hear those stories, they never get easier, do they.”

“We wrote a bad-tempered email to the MP when we got back. That helped a bit.”

“Good.” He looked at her and said, “Was your Caroline Griffiths the only reason you were like that with Elizabeth?”

“No… but the other reasons are more unworthy.”

“Tell me.”

“She’s the sort of woman who, whether by design or accident, makes other women acutely aware of their insecurities. Actually, with her I suspect it’s absolutely intentional.”

“What have you to feel insecure about?”

“Plenty! She was trying to make me feel stupid - and the thing is I do! I did terribly in my degree. I know part of it was my own fault, but I also found it really hard. I’ve always felt a bit inadequate as a result.”

Sidney looked at her, genuinely surprised. “You’ve never told me that before. I think you’re the cleverest person I know. You understand people and situations way quicker than I do and I got what people say is a good degree.”

“A brilliant degree,” said Charlotte smiling.

“And what else did she make you feel insecure about?”

“Well, just look at her! She’s beautiful. Young and glowing. All that flawless skin. I’m finding new wrinkles every day! I’ve even got them on the inside of my elbow!”

“Where? Show me.”

Charlotte rolled up her sleeve and bent her arm. “Look at the way the skin now folds…”

Sidney bent over as if to look, but instead gently kissed the place she was pointing at.

“And where else have you found these wrinkles?” he said softly, looking into her eyes. 

Not able to pull her eyes away, she lifted her finger to the side of her mouth. He kissed her there as well.

“Where else?”

“Here,” she said pointing to the edge of her eye. Another kiss. “And here,” pointing to her neck. Several kisses. 

“Anywhere else?” His eyes locked on hers.

Eyes on his, she pointed at the space between her breasts. “Quite a few here, “ she said.

“They definitely need my attention then.”

“Mmm, I think they do,” she said, undoing the buttons of her shirt 

\--------------------

My dear Fanny

The 11th of this month brought me your letter and I assure you I thought it very well worth its weight - I am very much obliged to you for such a good long letter. - Miss Lambe and Miss Harwood have returned home safely with Thomas. - Miss Harwood is subdued by her experience and has said little about what happened while she was in London. - Thomas has informed me that Sidney has met again with Elizabeth. You remember, dear sister, the dreadful misery poor Sidney suffered when Elizabeth married another. And yet here she is again and, it appears, now the richest widow in England! What a match that would be for Sidney. - You know I believed there was a growing tenderness between himself and Miss Harwood, but it seems as if fate has stepped in to allow him one more chance with his first love. - I take it for granted that Catherine has told you of Anna’s engagement to Ben Lefroy. We are anxious to have it go on well although there is an unfortunate dissimularity of taste between them, he hates company and she is very fond of it; - this with some queerness of temper on his side and much unsteadiness on hers, is untoward.

Your affectionate sister  
Mary 

Saturday. - We have had our first Regatta and what a success it was. Although Thomas claims it is due to his own talents, it is surely more to do with Miss Harwood and an accidental meeting with Lady Worcester while she was in London. - Lady Worcester came and brought the whole Beau Monde with her! - Sidney came with Elizabeth and what an elegant woman she now is. Indeed the two of them make the most handsome couple. And yet, once the Regatta was over, Elizabeth returned to London alone while Sidney remained here. He and Miss Harwood walked into town today and returned several hours later, both attempting to hide their smiles. Maybe he will choose the farmer’s daughter and not the wealthy widow after all. I think that would make me very happy. - How do you like your flounce? We have seen only plain flounces. I hope you have not cut off the train of your bombazin. I cannot reconcile to giving them up as morning gowns; they are so very sweet by candlelight.


	5. A Stupid Woman

Elizabeth was a woman for whom things came easily. Naturally academic, she had routinely scored the highest in exams at school; naturally athletic she had represented her school in several different sports; naturally beautiful she attracted a circle of friends who adored her. It was then a natural progression to win a scholarship to Oxford where she continued to shine, moving seamlessly from a double First to a PhD. This was followed by a job at her present university, where she was on course to be promoted to the position of professor, a decade before most people could dream of such a thing. 

Since her teenage years, she had moved through a series of boyfriends - each more handsome and brilliant than the last. She always grew bored eventually - their adoration came too easily - and she had yet to meet her match. Yet here she was pining for the attention of a middle-aged man in a forgotten seaside town; a middle-aged man who was not only the most handsome man she had ever seen, but also the first man who gave the impression of being unmoved by her charms. Moreover, a man who appeared to be steadfastly attached to his middle-aged wife who, herself, seemed unaffected by Elizabeth’s superior intelligence. It was disconcerting and infuriating. She contacted him and asked him if he would meet her the following week. Sidney replied to say he was very busy for the next two weeks and if there were any further letters, could she kindly photograph them and send them on. Undeterred, she did what she was good at: research. What she discovered gave her the excuse to contact him again:

\- In the course of my research I have come upon some information about your late parents which I think might interest you. Maybe we could meet for a drink and I could show you? And I’ve attached the last letter. 

While Sidney was reluctant to spend more time in Elizabeth’s company, the lure of information about his parents was too strong to resist. He was not lying when he said he was very busy - he was trying to clear his workload in preparation for the arrival of Alicia’s baby. He agreed to meet Elizabeth at The Crown on Wednesday night, after a tenants’ meeting which was scheduled earlier that evening. 

\-------------------------------

Alicia was sitting at home, watching television and eating a big bowl of nachos, when she felt her first contraction. The midwife had warned her she might have some contractions as she approached her due date. These would be false alarms until they came more and more regularly. Knowing this, Alicia was not overly alarmed. It was still two weeks until she was due and she had read that first babies were usually late. She pulled out her phone and started to phone Sidney, when she remembered he’d said he was in a meeting tonight and would be out of contact for an hour or two. 

\------------------

Janey and Henry were also meeting up that evening - at the Black Dog in Willingden, an ancient pub with low beams and a crackling open fire. 

“Seen Elizabeth again?” asked Janey, taking a sip of her wine.

“Not since Saturday, no.”

“And are you going to see her again?” Janey had decided to channel some of her aunt Charlotte’s forthrightness, despite being scared about what she might find out. She was pleased and surprised when Henry replied, “No, I don’t think so.”

“Why’s that? I thought you liked her.”

Henry blushed. “I did. But…”

“But what?” Janey was intrigued now.

“We… um.. went out for a meal in Brighton… after we went to the museum. Remember - you didn’t want to come.”

“I remember. So, what happened?”

“She… uh… talked a bit too much about Uncle Sidney.”

Janey frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I think she’s got a thing for him.” 

Janey stared at him. “Sidney! But he’s married! And old…”

“Apparently he’s the most handsome man she’s ever seen.”

“She actually said that to you?”

“Un huh.”

Janey got the giggles. “Oh Henry, I’m sorry to laugh at you” she said when she got her breath back. “But you fancied her, took her out for dinner, and she then told you she fancied your uncle?”

Henry laughed too, “Pretty much.”

Janey cocked her head to one side and looked at him. “Are you alright though? I mean if you liked her a lot, that must have been quite painful.”

He shrugged. “Yeah, I’m fine. I mean she’s very… you know… but she hasn’t got much of a sense of humour. It would have been much more fun if you’d been there too.” He smiled at her, shyly.

Emboldened, Janey said, “Well maybe you should ask me out to dinner next time.”

Henry brightened. “Really? Would you like that?”

“Try me.”

“Janey, would you have dinner with me?”

“Nah, I fancy your uncle too much!”

Henry roared with laughter. “I deserved that!”

“You did, yes,” said Janey, smiling. “But actually, I would like to have dinner with you. And I don’t fancy Sidney at all.”

“That’s a relief.”

Janey suddenly looked serious. “You don’t think Sidney likes her too, do you?”

“I doubt it. I mean, I don’t think he’s like that. Married and still flirting. In fact I don’t think I ever saw him flirting when we were growing up - or even after that. I suppose he must have had a love life, but he always kept it hidden from us. Until he met Charlotte again. They seem pretty happy to me.”

“It’s funny though, isn’t it, you never really think about your parents - or aunts and uncles - having love lives. They’re just there when you need them. Not real people with lives that have nothing to do with us.”

“I know what you mean.”

\------------------

Charlotte was in the B&B kitchen, flicking through a recipe book, when Janey returned home later. One look at her niece’s beaming face told her everything she needed to know.

“You two friends again then?”

“He asked me out! Well, I sort of prompted him to… but anyway he did it.”

“I’m pleased for you. He’s a nice man. So there wasn’t anything going on with Elizabeth then?”

Janey wasn’t sure how much she should say to her aunt. “I don’t think she was interested in him… she has her eye on someone else. Henry said she doesn’t have much of a sense of humour.”

“Not much fun to be with then?”

“Doesn’t sound like it.” 

“Pity the man she’s set her sights on.”

“Um, Charlotte, I think that man is…”

Charlotte’s phone rang, stopping Janey from completing her sentence. 

Charlotte saw who was ringing and said, “Alicia, this is a nice surprise.”

“My contractions are coming and it’s too early... and Uncle Sid’s not answering his phone and I don’t know where Fred is and…. Ow! Charlotte! It hurts! Can you come?”

“I’m on my way.” Charlotte ended the call and said to Janey, “Looks like Alicia’s going into labour. Can you take over here?”

“Of course.”

Charlotte pulled on her coat, grabbed her bag and car keys and headed out. Her heart was thumping. This was absolutely what she most dreaded - and what Sidney assured her she would not have to do. Where was he? Why wasn’t he doing this?

\-----------------------------

In Sanditon, Sidney was sitting in a meeting discussing the concerns of some of his tenants about a new family who were noisy and abusive. As usual with these kinds of disputes, it was a tricky meeting - balancing the needs of the neighbours with an understanding about the issues affecting the family concerned. He let himself wonder how his father would have dealt with it - or his brother. There he was, the latest in a long line of Parkers in charge of housing the residents of this town. Would his father be proud of how he carried on the family tradition? Had he been a fair and understanding landlord? He wished he could talk to him, ask him for his advice. He thought about what Elizabeth might have found out. Maybe she had found some letters written by his parents… He felt his heart lift at the prospect. To read their words, to catch a glimpse of their concerns and enthusiasms, to see if they matched his own… 

The meeting was longer than he had expected, but eventually it was over and he hurried over to The Crown. Elizabeth was already there, on her second gin and tonic by the look of things. He sat down and she pushed over a pint, “I got this for you. You looked like a pint of bitter sort of man.”

He smiled and her heart flipped. It was the most glorious smile, warm and inviting, making his beautiful brown eyes shine.

“Thank you, I’m driving, but...”

“One pint won’t hurt,” she smiled at him, encouragingly. He took a sip and stretched out his long legs.

“Good meeting?” she asked.

Sidney shrugged and smiled ruefully, “Sorting out problems with my tenants - it’s never easy.”

“Have all the Parkers since Thomas Parker built and managed property in Sanditon?”

“Yep. It’s the family business.”

“Did you never want to do something else?”

“It was never me who was supposed to do this - it was my elder brother who… anyway, it’s down to me now.”

She looked at him and remembered what Henry had said about Sidney raising him and his sisters. She drank some of her gin and tonic and said, “Did you read the latest letter?” 

“I did.”

She fixed him with her dark blue eyes and said coyly, “So Sidney ended up marrying Elizabeth and not Miss Harwood.”

Sidney looked back at her and thought, does she really think history is going to repeat itself? That a marriage such as Charlotte and I have, could be so easily toppled by a woman like her? He replied coolly, “So it would seem.” He felt a pressure on his calf and looked down to see Elizabeth rubbing his outstretched leg with her stockinged foot. It was a mistake to come here tonight, he thought. But if there are letters… He quickly pulled his legs back and said curtly, “You said you’d found out something about my parents.”

Elizabeth felt the sour taste of rejection as her foot was left hanging with no strong calf to caress. 

“I did, yes,” she said. She pulled out a sheaf of paper from her bag and passed it over. She wasn’t yet ready to declare defeat and used this as an opportunity to lay her hand on his arm, squeeze it and say, “I’m sorry. I hadn’t realised your parents died so tragically and when you were so young. That must have been terrible for you.” She looked at him with her most sympathetic face, but Sidney wasn’t looking at her. Instead he was reading through the papers, his expression growing more and more stony, a nerve in his jaw twitching. 

“Is this it?” he finally said. “Is this what you wanted to show me?”

Elizabeth was taken aback by the ice in his voice. “Yes… why?”

“All you’ve done is print out a load of newspaper reports. You don’t think I’ve already read every account of the accident, every obituary published? This is just cruel, Elizabeth.”

“Cr… cruel,” she stuttered. “I didn’t mean it to be… I just wanted to see you again.”

“And you thought showing me articles about my parents’ deaths was the best way to do that! Really Elizabeth, for a very clever woman, you are unbelievably stupid.”

Sidney stood up to go and, humiliated and furious, Elizabeth grabbed the pint of beer and threw it at him. Sidney glared at her, dripping, and then stormed out of the pub.

\----------------------

My dear Fanny

I received your pretty letter yesterday. Your good account of everybody makes us very happy. - Having half an hour before breakfast, I will give you an account of the last two days. And yet, what is there to be told? I shall get foolishly minute unless I cut the matter short. - And yet I am sorely grieved. - The night of the midsummer ball there was a fire, a dreadful fire! A whole terrace destroyed and a man dead! And then Thomas confessed he had not insured the work.- He took a gamble which he lost.- I can barely confess to you the sum owing. £80 000 - there, I have said it. - Lady Denham is very angry and said she would see us in debtors’ prison. I should be vexed with Thomas but he is punishing himself more than I could ever do. I cannot bear to see him so angry with himself and so I tell him that I believe in him and that we will come through this. And yet I can confess to you that I am frightened for the future. Thomas paces his study for hours at a time as if this would produce the money while Sidney goes to London to beg and borrow on our behalf. 

Your affectionate sister  
Mary

Thursday. - Sidney has returned with the most excellent news. - He is engaged to be married to his first love, Elizabeth, who has guaranteed to pay our debts! I cannot believe her generosity. - I had thought he would propose to Miss Harwood but I must believe that he still loves Elizabeth to propose to her. - I cannot tell you how gratified this makes me, that Sidney will finally be settled and in so doing, secures our financial future. I hope this is a happy ending for us all.


	6. Birth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that there are references to still-birth in this chapter.

Sidney stumbled out of The Crown, his hair, face, sweater and trousers soaking wet from the beer. He was shaking - with anger, with disappointment, and with hurt. He would never find out anything new about his parents, would never know what they thought of him… Tears pricked at his eyes. He desperately needed to see Charlotte and hear her words of love that always soothed him. When he took out his phone to tell her he was on his way and only then realised he’d not turned it back on after his meeting was over. He had five missed calls from Alicia, each one more urgent than the last:

“Uncle Sid, I’m having contractions…

“I thought they weren’t anything but they’re still coming…”

“Please answer the phone…”

“I’m phoning Charlotte…”

“Where are you?”

Sidney immediately called Alicia, but she didn’t answer. Then he tried Charlotte - again, no reply. Finally, he phoned Janey who thankfully picked up and told him Charlotte had left an hour ago. He ran to his car, berating himself the whole way for his stupidity, and set off down the coast road for Eastbourne. He would never forget when Charlotte told him about her stilborn baby; the grief and pain that she still felt was palpable. He’d promised her she wouldn’t be with Alicia when she gave birth and he had let her down. He had to get there before it was too late. He pressed his foot on the accelerator and sped down the coast road.

\-----------------

Alicia was timing her contractions. They seemed to be coming more frequently. She wished Uncle Sid was on his way, not Charlotte. She hadn’t felt wholly comfortable with her since Edward had died. The doorbell rang and Alicia buzzed Charlotte in. As she opened the door, another contraction hit and she bent over with the pain. Charlotte came in and despite Alicia’s misgivings, she had to admit that Charlotte’s calm warmth was very welcome.

“Oh no, Charlotte, look…” A liquid was running down her leg and pooling on the floor.

“Let’s phone the hospital and tell them your waters have broken and then we’ll drive over,” said Charlotte with a reassuring smile.

“Isn’t it too quick? I thought it would take ages! What happens if something’s wrong!”

“Nothing’s wrong. Your baby’s just keen to meet you.”

Alicia took strength from Charlotte’s composure and phoned the maternity ward who told her to come in straight away. 

\--------------------

Sidney heard the police siren and moved to the side of the road to let it pass, before realising that it was he who was being pulled over. He stopped the car and let the window down. 

“Is there a problem?” he said to the policeman whose face peered in.

“Do you know what speed you were doing, sir?”

“No… was I going too fast? I’m sorry.”

“You were doing 100 miles per hour.”

“I’m very sorry, it’s an emergency, you see…”

“Could you step out of the car please, sir?”

Sidney sighed and opened the door.

“Have you been drinking?”

“No! Listen, I need to get to the hospital because my niece is giving birth…”

“Of course you do, sir. Uncles always need to be with their nieces when they give birth.”

“You don’t understand…”

The policeman looked at him and understanding dawned. “Oh, I see, sir. She's one of _those_ sorts of ‘nieces’.”

“What? No. She is my niece and my wife’s with her and she shouldn’t be…”

“Yes, in the circumstances, you _would_ want to keep them apart,” he said with a smirk. “No wonder you reek like a brewery.”

“But I haven’t been drinking! Someone threw a pint at me earlier…”

“Oh I’ve heard it all now! There’s a ‘niece’, a wife and another bit on the side. Angry was she when you told her about the baby? You have been a busy boy, haven’t you? Now, just breathe into the breathalyser for me.”

Sidney was trying hard to keep his anger at bay; his whole body was yearning to be with Charlotte and Alicia, not standing here in the cold night air being mocked by an over-cocky policeman. He breathed into the breathalyser. The policeman looked at the reading and then looked at Sidney, surprised. 

“Looks like you’re telling the truth, sir - about not drinking, that is. But I will need to give you a fixed penalty notice for speeding.”

“Ok, whatever, but can I please go now.” 

“If I can give you a word of advice, sir. Whoever it is who’s giving birth at the moment, they won’t welcome you turning up, smelling like a brewery. In fact, I doubt the ward sister will let you in. Go home, take a shower, change your clothes and then head for the hospital - at the regulation speed limit, this time, mind.”

Sidney snatched the speeding ticket from the policeman and got back into his car. He was about to continue along the coast road when he stopped and reflected on what the policeman had said. He did stink of booze. Going home was in the opposite direction, but there was nothing for it, he would have to turn around, go to Willingden, clean up and then head out again.

\-----------------------

Despite Charlotte’s outward show of calm and reassurance, inside she was a mess. In the passenger seat, Alicia was clutching her tummy and emitting regular groans. Charlotte knew this meant she needed to get them to the hospital as quickly as possible, but every fibre of her being was telling her to drive in the opposite direction. It occurred to her that she could simply drop Alicia off and then go home. She didn’t have to go with her to the ward; she wasn’t supposed to be there anyway; surely Sidney would be there soon… Breathing, she thought, that’s what you have to do when you give birth, breathe… I just need to breathe. In and out. Focus on Alicia. This isn’t about you. You’re not giving birth. Alicia is. Her baby will be fine. Breathe.

They arrived at the hospital and Charlotte helped Alicia out of the car and took her bag. In the maternity ward they were shown to a birthing room and a midwife came in to inspect Alicia’s progress. 

“You’re doing well, Alicia,” she said. “It looks like your baby is eager to arrive.”

The midwife then looked at Charlotte and said, “Are you alright? You’re terribly pale.”

Alicia looked at Charlotte properly for the first time and saw that she did look unwell.

Charlotte saw Alicia’s concerned face and said, “I… I’m fine. Really.” She attempted a smile. 

“If you’re sure,” said the midwife, uncertainly. Alicia’s face screwed up in pain again as another contraction came. “Can I ask who you are? It says here that Alicia’s uncle was to be with her.”

“I’m Charlotte, Alicia’s aunt. Her uncle is on his way - I hope.”

“Ok then Charlotte, can you hold Alicia’s hand and help her to breathe.”

Reluctantly, Charlotte took Alicia’s hand and immediately found her own hand clutched in a tight vice. “Just breathe,” she said softly, as much to herself as to Alicia. “Take a deep breath and then let it out slowly… And again… There we go… in… and out…”

In between breaths, Alicia managed to say, “You’re good at this, Charlotte. Have you done this before?”

“Um… no… yes… Never mind about me…”

Another contraction, another vice-like grasp of Charlotte’s hand.

“Thank you, for being here with me…. Ohhhhh… I’m so glad you’re here with me now.”

Charlotte said nothing, but focussed again on her own breathing.

Eventually, Alicia’s contractions became so frequent that she could no longer hold any kind of conversation and her words became a stream of curses against Edward for doing this to her. As the birth became closer, Charlotte’s panic became almost overwhelming. She fixed her mind to repeating the mantra: everything will be fine, everything will be fine. She closed her eyes tight as Alicia made her final push and the midwife said, “There we go, Alicia, well done, you have a lovely baby boy.”  
But where was the sound of his cry? There was no sound. Ohmygod, ohmygod, it’s happening again, it’s me, I’m a curse, I should never have been here…

And then it came, the first wail of Alicia’s baby boy. Charlotte opened her eyes and saw Alicia holding her baby, a sweet smile on her face.

“Look at him, Charlotte, isn’t he beautiful?” she said.

Charlotte couldn’t speak. The door opened and a second midwife came in saying, “You have a visitor.” 

It was Sidney, with a tentative smile on his face. 

Charlotte muttered, “I’m sorry, I have to..” and rushed from the room, barging past Sidney without looking at him.

\-------------------

Sidney was torn between following Charlotte and seeing Alicia and her baby. Alicia made up his mind for him “Come and see your great-nephew, Uncle Sid.”

Sidney approached the bed. “Oh Alicia, aren’t you clever,” he said and leant over and kissed the top of her head.

“Tommy,” she said looking at her baby. “This is my Uncle Sid and your grand-dad. Because he was like a dad to me and you don’t have any other grand-parents but you do have an uncle and an aunt…”

“Tommy?” Sidney questioned.

“Yes. This is Thomas Sidney Parker.” She smiled up at him. “Is that ok?”

Sidney suddenly felt overwhelmed. “It’s more than ok.”

“Do you want to hold him then?” Alicia passed Tommy over and Sidney rested him in his arms.

“Hello little one,” he said. He walked him over to the window as the midwife tended to Alicia. Looking out, he saw Charlotte standing at the edge of the car park in a pool of light under a street lamp, her head down, her shoulders up. He handed Tommy back to Alicia and said, “I’ll be back, but I need to see Charlotte.”

In the carpark, he stood next to his wife, put his arm around her and said, “Charlotte, I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”

She turned with a jerk and started beating his chest with her fists. “Where _were_ you? How could you? How could you?” 

Eventually she stopped hitting him and just sobbed and Sidney put his other arm around her and held her close.

All of sudden, Charlotte stopped crying and pushed herself away from Sidney’s arms.

“You were with that woman and those bloody letters, weren’t you?” She glared at him. “Your head’s so in the past, you can’t see what’s happening now!” 

Stung by the truth in her accusation, he retorted, without thinking, “And you can?” As soon as he said it, he regretted it.

“At least I was here,” she replied bitterly and started to walk off.

“Charlotte,” he said, catching her arm. “Come back in with me. See our grandson.”

“I can’t go back in there! I have to… I have to go home.” She pulled her arm from his grasp and carried on to her car.

Sidney watched her go, torn once again between his need to be with her and his need to be with Alicia. In the end, he went back up to the ward.

“Where's Charlotte?” said Alicia.

“She had to go home”

“Is she alright? She looked really poorly earlier.”

Sidney sat down by the bed, but didn’t reply to Alicia’s question. Alicia looked down at her baby boy who was now sleeping in her arms. “I don’t know what I would have done without her. She was so calm and she seemed to know exactly what to do…” She suddenly looked at Sidney and said, “Charlotte’s been pregnant hasn’t she?”

Sidney nodded.

“Oh,” she said, suddenly realising. “She lost her baby, didn’t she?”

Sidney nodded again.

“A miscarriage?”

“Several.”

“But not just miscarriages?”

“No.”

“She had a stillborn baby, didn’t she?”

Sidney nodded sadly.

“And yet she came here, with me, and she never said a word.” She looked down at her baby again. “I can’t imagine… It must have been unbearable for her.”

If Sidney had felt bad before, he now felt even worse, looking at Alicia’s stricken face. “Where were you, Uncle Sid? Why didn’t you answer your phone?”

“I forgot to turn the sound back on after my meeting,” Sidney said quietly, looking at Tommy and not Alicia. “When I remembered, it was too late.”

“Uncle Sid, you need to go home and be with Charlotte. I’m fine here. Although, I wonder where Fred is. He wouldn’t answer his phone either.”

Sidney looked up at that. “I forgot that as well! Fred texted earlier to say his grandmother had a fall and he was in the hospital with her.”

“His grandmother lives in Eastbourne! Maybe he’s here somewhere.” Alicia’s face brightened. 

Sidney stood up. “I’ll go and see if I can find him and then I’ll go home. But I’ll be back tomorrow.” He looked at his watch, “It is tomorrow - later today then.” He leant over and kissed first Alicia and then Tommy. “Don’t worry about Charlotte, I’ll take care of her. You just enjoy your baby.”

Sidney went downstairs and asked at reception if a Mrs Robinson had been admitted. She had and he was sent over to the orthopaedic ward where he found a very surprised Fred who had been allowed to stay with his grandmother until she was settled.

“What on earth are you doing here?”

“Alicia’s had her baby. She’s upstairs if you want to see her.”

“But it’s too early! Is everything alright?”

“Everything is fine. Tommy was just very eager to see us all. It all went very quickly.”

“Tommy?”

“Thomas Sidney Parker,” said Sidney proudly.

“That’s just the best news!” said Fred. “I’ll be up very soon.”

Sidney slapped him on the back and then walked out and into the car park. He got in his car and headed for home, hoping that Charlotte would eventually be able to forgive him


	7. Forgiveness

The farther Charlotte drove from the hospital, the better she felt. By the time she arrived home, the night’s trauma felt like a rapidly fading nightmare. Her anger at Sidney had evaporated - she knew he would never have willingly inflicted the pain she had suffered. As she opened the door, she smelt the sour odour of beer. Switching on the light, she saw a trail of clothes heading into the bedroom. She picked up a discarded jumper and sniffed it - beer. In the bedroom, she saw that the ensuite light was still on and a damp towel was piled on the floor. Feeling like a detective, she tried and failed to work out what had happened to Sidney that night. She hung up the towel and collected up the clothes, putting them in the utility room ready to be washed in the morning. Not knowing what time Sidney might get home, she wrote a note and left it on the kitchen counter where she hoped he would see it and then she went to bed.

As Sidney arrived home, he remembered how he had left it earlier. He felt even guiltier now, imagining Charlotte’s cross face as she saw the mess he had left behind. But when he came in, a light had been left on for him, there were no clothes on the floor - they were piled up ready to be washed - and there was a note in the kitchen that said simply: Sorry. The weight he had felt all night started to lift. He opened the door to the bedroom. Charlotte had left his bedside light on - something she hated to do as she couldn’t sleep with it on. Sidney smiled - that was a real sign of forgiveness. Charlotte appeared to be asleep, but as he quickly undressed, she rolled over and opened her eyes.

“You’re back,” she said.

“I’m sorry - did I wake you?”

“No. You know I can’t sleep with the light on.”

“No,” he smiled. “Of course you can’t.” He slipped into bed and lay facing her.

“I’m sorry for what I said before,” she said, reaching for his hand.

“ _I’m_ the one who’s sorry,” he said, lacing his fingers between hers. 

“So where were you?”

“With that woman and her bloody letters.”

“But why didn’t you answer your phone?”

“Because I had a meeting first, so I switched the sound off. And then I was thinking about my parents - Elizabeth said she’d found some stuff out about my parents to show me. And I got excited thinking she’d found some letters from them...”

“Oh Sidney…”

“And I completely forgot about my phone. So you were right, I was thinking about the past too much and not about the present.”

“And did she have any letters?”

“No. She’d just printed out a load of newspaper reports about the helicopter crash.”

“That’s cruel.”

“That’s what I said.”

“But why did she do it?”

Sidney looked shame-faced “Because she wanted an excuse to see me again.”

“She said that?”

“Un huh. After making it very obvious that she did.”

Charlotte looked shocked. “What did she do!”

Sidney started to slide his foot up and down Charlotte’s leg. 

“The little minx!” cried Charlotte and then added, “No, don’t stop - that’s nice.”

“So I got cross and told her she was a very stupid woman,”

“You didn’t!”

“I did. And then she threw a pint of beer at me.”

“Which explains the mess you left me when I came home.”

“Another thing I’m sorry about.”

“Where were you? In the Crown? Were people watching all this?”

“I didn’t notice.”

“You’re going to be the talk of Sanditon!”

“Oh god, I hope not.”

“So then you came home and changed and came to the hospital?”

“No. Then I was caught speeding along the coast road. 100 miles per hour apparently.”

Charlotte’s eyebrows shot up.

“And of course the policeman who stopped me thought I’d been drinking because I smelt of beer.”

“Of course he did.”

“So I tried to explain that I was rushing to see my niece who was giving birth and he thought ‘niece’ was a euphemism for my young girlfriend. And then I said my wife’s with her and she shouldn’t be, which just made things worse, and then I said someone had chucked a pint of beer at me and of course he then thought that was my other girlfriend who was cross because the first girlfriend was having my baby… What? What is it?”

Charlotte was doubled up, her whole body quivering.

“Are you laughing at me, Miss Heywood?”

Charlotte lifted her head and tears of laughter were rolling down her face. “Oh Sidney, that’s just the best thing I’ve heard in ages!” 

Sidney laughed as well.

“It’s your own fault, you know, for being so ridiculously good-looking.”

“Good-looking, am I?” 

“You know you are!”

“It’s only nice to hear though, when it’s you saying it,” he said softly.

She snuggled up a bit closer and said, “I am saying it. You have the most beautiful eyes…” She kissed his eyelids “... and the best cheekbones…” she kissed him on both cheeks “... and the most kissable lips…” and she kissed his lips and he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back.

“Now it’s my turn to admire you,” he said.

“Yes?”

“Oh yes. I love this curve here… and your skin there is so soft… and…”

Later, Sidney rested her forehead against hers and whispered, “So am I forgiven?”

“There’s nothing to forgive you for.”

“But it was horrible for you, wasn’t it?”

“It was unbearable - well, not unbearable because I did bear it, but it was like I was both there in the present and there in the past at the same time.”

“I think I can understand that. It’s sort of what I’ve been doing, going back in time to be with my parents and then trying to imagine them here with me now, to try and know them again. It’s kind of overwhelming, isn’t it?”

“It is. I guess we just have to accept that our pasts are going to rear up now and then and send us reeling. But we’ve got a grandson now, he’ll help us stay in the present.”

Sidney chuckled. “I haven’t told you what Alicia’s called him yet. Thomas Sidney Parker.”

Charlotte laughed. “There’s no escaping the past, is there!”

\-------------------

When Alicia and Tommy were back at home, Charlotte drove over to visit them. Alicia buzzed her in, still in her nightie and dressing gown. Charlotte noted with amusement that her niece’s normally pristine living room was now covered in baby paraphernalia. 

“I’ve brought you some more meals,” she said. “I’m sure you haven’t time to cook anything.”

“Fred’s been here every evening, making sure I eat,” said Alicia, smiling. “But, between you and me, he’s not much of a cook. So thank you for these. Everything you make is always delicious.”

Charlotte filled the fridge with her tupperware containers and then came and sat down.

“Do you want a cuddle?” said Alicia.

“Yes please!” she said, holding her arms out for the baby.

She felt the reassuring weight of Tommy rest her in her arms as he looked up at her and blinked, sleepily.

“He’s gorgeous, Alicia,” she said smiling over at her niece.

“Charlotte, I need to thank you properly for being with me.”

“No, you don’t,” she said looking down at Tommy and marveling at how tiny his fingers were.

“I do. Uncle Sid told me what you went through.”

Charlotte looked up and frowned. “He shouldn’t have done that.”

“I sort of worked it out myself and he just confirmed it. It was unbelievably brave of you to come to the hospital with me. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you. I feel half guilty for making you come and half grateful that you did.”

“Don’t feel guilty, Alicia. You didn’t know. It’s done now and you have the most beautiful little boy and that’s all that matters. Now, while he seems happy enough with me, do you want to have a shower or anything?”

“A shower? Oh, that would be amazing. Are you sure you don’t mind?”

“Go on, off you go.”

Alicia went and Charlotte sat back against the sofa, with Tommy in her arms and talked to him about his sweet little feet and adorable little tummy and all his new family and the amazing things they would do together.

Later they had lunch together. Charlotte had brought a bag containing one of her home-baked loaves, tomatoes from her greenhouse, butter and a pack of local Slipcote sheep’s cheese. 

“This is amazing, Charlotte…”

“It’s just cheese and tomato sandwiches,” said Charlotte slicing the bread and fetching out plates and knives.

“No, it’s not, it’s more than that,” said Alicia sitting down at the kitchen table. “You are so kind to me and I’ve been so off with you ever since Edward…”

“It’s fine, I understand.”

“No, it’s not fine. I… I resented you. I thought you must have done something to take Edward away from me. Even when Uncle Sid told me about Eliza, I still blamed you somehow. I completely missed what was important. That you have been constantly kind and thoughtful. I hardly remember my mum now. The only parent I’ve really had is Uncle Sid so I’m not sure what it is to be a mother, but if I can be just half the woman you are, Charlotte, I think I can be a good mum to Tommy.”

Charlotte stared at Alicia, dumbfounded, her eyes filling with tears. Finally, she said, “That is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.” Then she reached over and squeezed Alicia’s hand and said, “Let’s eat before you have me sobbing. And then you can tell me how things are going with Fred.”

Over a cup of tea, Alicia tried to explain about her relationship with Fred. “I don’t know Charlotte. I like him. I really like him and I think he likes me. But… how do I know he’s right for me? You know me, so many boyfriends that I dropped because they weren’t right. And then Edward comes along and he seems perfect and then it turns out he’s anything but perfect. I don’t feel I can trust myself anymore to know what’s good for me. And now it’s not just me, there’s Tommy too.”

“I’m not surprised that’s how you feel. You know though, if it were up to me and your uncle to choose a partner for you, we’d choose Fred.”

“Really?”

“He’s honest and reliable and kind and has a dry sense of humour. Good-looking too which is always a bonus.” Charlotte smiled.

“Did you always know Uncle Sid was the right man for you?”

Charlotte laughed. “No! Definitely not when I first knew him.”

“That was at university, right? What was he like then?”

“Moody and annoying, basically.”

“I can’t imagine him like that. He was always so loving with us. He could get angry though, when we were out of line. But he was always fair.”

“You three were the making of him, I think. I couldn’t believe how relaxed he was when I met him again.”

“So when you met again, how did you know he was right for you then?”

“I don’t know,” said Charlotte, thinking. “It just felt right. We just sort of clicked in a way we hadn’t before. I felt completely comfortable with him and I wanted to see him again. Like a magnetic attraction, I suppose. And it helped that Alison could see it too. She saw us together and knew it was right. When I see you and Fred together, you look right too.” 

“And what did you think when you saw me and Edward?”

Charlotte thought for a moment. “Not quite right. But then there wasn’t much opportunity to see you together.”

“No, there wasn’t. When I look back I think I fell for him because he said what I wanted to hear, but that’s not enough, is it?”

“It’s very nice though, but no it’s not enough. The key, I think, is to feel easy with each other, to trust them to have your back, to know you can argue and then make your peace. To be able to laugh and to tease and to talk. That’s what makes a good relationship.”

“And that’s what you have with Uncle Sid?”

Charlotte smiled and said, “That is exactly what I have with your Uncle Sid.”


	8. Past & Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we are with the last chapter of the last story in this series. Thank you so much for reading and commenting - I can't tell you how much that means to me.
> 
> Unfortunately too many women start to feel invisible when they reach middle age - I hope with these stories I've made our beauty and brilliance a little more visible for everyone to see.

And so the months ticked by; little Tommy had his first tooth and Sidney and Charlotte’s fifth wedding anniversary was not far off. Everyone would argue later over whose idea it originally was, but plans for a surprise party started to take shape. To make sure Sidney and Charlotte were left completely in the dark, the party was to be held in the community centre, not at the B&B. One day, when Charlotte had an afternoon of baking planned and Sidney was working from home, various members of their family gathered at the centre to hold a planning meeting. 

Henry was the first to arrive, shortly followed by Janey and Alison. When he thought her mum’s head was turned, Henry snatched a quick kiss from Janey, but Alison had seen them and laughed. 

“Kissing cousins, that’s what they used to call it,” she said and they both blushed.

Alicia, Fred and baby Tommy were next to arrive, looking very much like the little family they now were. 

“Hey Alicia, I got the job!” said Janey.

“Well done you. But there wasn’t really any competition, was there? I mean you’re here all the time anyway. So what’s your official title?”

“Development Officer for the Hunger Project. Basically making sure everyone in Sanditon gets fed, one or way or another.”

Tommy started to cry and Alicia said, “Speaking of hunger…” and gave her baby her breast to suck on.

Caroline Griffiths then opened the door, saw them all there and went to shut the door again, saying, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know anyone…” But Janey waved her in. 

“Come and join us, if you’re not busy. We’re planning Charlotte and Sidney’s surprise anniversary party.”

Caroline beamed and sat down with them. 

“I call this meeting to order,” said Henry and they all laughed at his mock pomposity. “We have apologies from Jenny and Coralie and their significant others, but they’re up for any tasks we give them.”

“That’s the washing-up sorted!” said Alison.

“Good idea,” said Henry, smiling. “So what else do we need to discuss?”

A long list of suggestions quickly turned into an agenda.

“The first thing,” said Henry, “is how are we going to make sure they don’t make their own plans for the day?”

“We can invite them out for a meal in the evening,” said Alison. “Say the whole family will be there. Which actually isn’t too far from the truth.”

“And maybe Coralie and Otis can take them out for lunch - say they can’t make the evening meal, but want to do something special with them,” said Alicia. “And then they can bring them here afterwards.”

“But what’s the pretext for needing to come here?” said Fred.

“I could say I have something for them,” piped up Caroline, shyly. They all looked at her. “Now I know it’s their anniversary, I would like to get them something. Maybe I could make them a cake… they could come here to pick it up.”

“Yes!” said Janey. “If I helped you, we could make a really big cake for everyone - if that’s ok with you?”

Caroline smiled with pleasure at the idea.

“So we have a cake,” said Henry. “What about the rest of the food?”

“Ask the women who run the cafe to cater,” said Alicia.

“And get everyone who comes to bring some drink?” said Fred.

“Good idea,” said Henry. “And for entertainment, how would you all feel if my ska band performed?”

Everyone was delighted.. “And how about an 80s disco later on?” said Alison.

“We can have some of the tunes Sidney and Charlotte listened to back in the day,” said Janey.

“What did Charlotte like when she was young?” asked Alicia. “I have no idea what Uncle Sid listened to.”

“Charlotte liked a lot of political music - the Communards and the Redskins were favourites,” smiled Alison. “As for Sidney, Crowe says he was into anything dark and depressing - especially the Smiths and Joy Division.”

They looked at her blankly. All except Caroline who said, “I saw the Communards live once.”

All the young faces swivelled round to stare at her. “What?” she said. “I was young once, you know.”

Alison laughed and looked at Caroline. “They think we jumped out of the womb with grey hair and wrinkles.” Then turning to the rest of them, she said, “We were your age once, and you’ll be our age one day - and you won’t believe how quickly that day comes. Leave the 80s playlist to me and Caroline.”

“Right, moving on,” said Henry. “We’ve already given the date to the main guests. But is there anyone else we want to invite? I mean, what should we do about all the regulars who come here and the volunteers?”

“Invite them all,” said Alicia immediately.

Everyone agreed and the meeting soon ended with talk of decorations and who would do what on the list of tasks.

\------------------------

A few days before the surprise party, Sidney said to Charlotte, “Since we’re being wined and dined all day on our anniversary, do you fancy spending a few hours just the two of us maybe the day before?”

“What have you in mind?”

“I thought we could taste our wine together. You know, wood is the traditional gift for a fifth anniversary so wine from our wooden barrels seems appropriate. That could be our gift to each other. What do you think?”

“Sounds perfect.”

So the day before the party, Charlotte and Sidney ensconced themselves in their new winery with a couple of empty glasses. They selected one of the barrels, twisted the tap and poured themselves each a glass of their very own white wine. 

“What if it tastes horrible?” said Charlotte. “After all the work it took to get this far.”

“It looks ok. Not cloudy.” Sidney stuck his nose in the glass. “Smells like wine. That’s a good start.”

They looked at each other and then both put their glasses to their lips and tasted. 

“Oh,” said Charlotte. “That’s not bad! Fruity… there’s peach there, don’t you think?”

“I do. And some melon. Good enough to drink now.”

“Why don’t we siphon some of it off, but leave the rest to age a bit longer - see if the flavours develop even more.”

“Good idea. I’ll go and get some of those empty bottles we’ve been saving.” 

Sidney went back home and Charlotte poured herself another glass and sat down on the floor, with her back up against one of the barrels. She took another sip and closed her eyes. She imagined the chalky earth beneath her, which formed the rolling hills of Sussex; the soil on which her family had farmed for generations and which had nourished the grapes she was now drinking. It rooted her to the land of her ancestors. She smiled contentedly.

“What is it?” said Sidney, returning and seeing her face.

“It just feels deeply satisfying to have produced all this,” she said.

“It does, doesn’t it,” he said, setting down the bottles, pouring himself a glass and sitting down on the floor next to her.

They clinked glasses. “Happy anniversary, Miss Heywood.”

“And to you, Mr Parker.”

They smiled at each other.

“I have something for you,” said Sidney.

“We said we weren’t doing presents!”

“It’s not really a present. It’s those letters - remember them?” 

“Of course! The letters you wouldn’t let me see,” said Charlotte smiling. “Did you ever hear from your historian friend again?”

“What, after she poured that pint of beer over me?” said Sidney, chuckling. “Surprisingly, no. But I did hear from her boss - didn’t I tell you? He wanted a photo of him and me and the letters for the local paper to prove the university was sharing its research with the local community. I said no and never heard from him again.”

Sidney handed Charlotte some sheets of paper and her reading glasses. “So these were written by Mary Parker, wife of Thomas Parker who first had the idea to turn Sanditon from a fishing village into a seaside resort. I think you’ll enjoy them.”

Charlotte put on her glasses and took the pages from him. She started to read the first letter, admiring the elegant handwriting and lively style of the writer. She finished the first one and laughed. “So all the Sidneys in your family are rude to young women they’ve only just met?”

“Evidently. I was just carrying out the family tradition when I first met you.”

Charlotte carried on reading. “A marked coldness between Sidney and Miss Harwood - I can’t imagine such a thing, how dreadful!” Sidney chuckled and Charlotte read on. “That’s better. I like the little glances they’re sharing… oh no, now that coolness between them is back.... Elizabeth? Of course, there’s an Elizabeth…. Do you know who Miss Lambe was?”

“I haven’t heard of her before.”

“I don’t expect a young woman would go to London on her own in those days. Miss Harwood must have been very headstrong… Oh look, there’s a Lady Worcester! I must tell Susan about that. What do you think bombazin is?”

Sidney shrugged. 

Charlotte read on. “This looks promising. Something good obviously happened on that long walk…” Charlotte turned to the last letter. She read in silence this time and then finally looked up at Sidney. “Oh no! Do you think he really loved Elizabeth?”

“He probably thought he did, but then he came to his senses and realised it was Miss Harwood he truly loved.” Sidney grinned.

“If so, I hope it didn’t take him thirty years to find her again,” said Charlotte grinning back. 

\----------------------

The following day, Coralie and Otis drove down from London, collected Sidney and Charlotte and took them out to a country pub for lunch. It was a beautiful late summer’s day and they sat in the pub garden, enjoying the sun on their faces and the distant sound of a wood pigeon cooing in the trees. 

“I remember when you first came,” said Charlotte to Coralie. “You thought the countryside was so drab here. Do you like it any better now?”

“It’s growing on me. I still miss the vivid colours and smells of Antigua, but these South Downs are very pretty.”

“I would like to see your island,” said Charlotte. “Will you take us?”

Coralie smiled excitedly. “I would love that!”

The rest of the lunch was spent planning a future holiday for the four of them.”

“I’m so sorry we can’t stay for dinner with you all tonight,” said Coralie as they drove back later. “But we can drop you off in Sanditon - that’s where you’re having your meal, isn’t it?”

“Apparently so,” said Charlotte. “Can you drop us off at the community centre. Caroline said she had a present for us and she was leaving it there for me to pick up. Such a kind thought.” Coralie and Otis shared a quick look but said nothing.

Outside the centre, there were hugs good-bye and then Charlotte and Sidney pushed open the front door and went in. 

“It’s very quiet in here, isn’t it?” said Sidney as they advanced across the lobby. “Where did she say she was leaving this present?”

“In the cafe, I think.”

They carried on along the corridor and then opened the door at the far end.

“That’s strange, it’s all dark in here…”

“SURPRISE!!!”

Sidney and Charlotte stepped back in shock as the curtains were pulled back and the late afternoon sun streamed in revealing a room full of friends and family, all beaming at them. A large banner with the words ‘Happy Anniversary Charlotte & Sidney’ was hanging from the back wall and a table laden with bottles and glasses lined another. Sidney clutched his chest and said, “I’m 56, you can’t surprise me like that, I could have a heart attack!”

“You really had no idea?” asked Alicia coming forward.

“None at all,” said Sidney, looking at his wife who was still speechless. “I think Charlotte needs a drink. I know I could use one.”

The crowd started to disperse into different rooms. Henry’s band were warming up in what used to be the drawing room and people gravitated towards the sound of music. Once Charlotte had downed a glass of champagne - a crate of which had been brought down by Susan and Tony - she retrieved her voice once again. There were kisses and hugs and exclamations of surprise as first she spotted Coralie and Otis, who had snuck in behind them and then she moved from friend to friend. There was Susan and Tony, Gloria and Winston, Babbers and Esther, all the volunteers from the food bank, the refugee women from the cafe, the library staff and the nursery workers, the admin staff and the managing committee. Sidney was also doing the rounds, marvelling that so many people had come to celebrate with them. Councillor John Sutton was there as well as some of his colleagues from the council. There were people from the various tenants’ committees in the buildings Sidney managed - and shopkeepers who leased their businesses from him. Even the editor of the local paper was there.

As the afternoon turned to evening, the cafe women started cooking and, before long, the aromatic smells of a spicy stew reached the old drawing room. Charlotte left the music there and followed the scent back to the kitchen. There she found Caroline and Janey bringing out an enormous iced cake in the shape of the building they were currently in.

“Goodness!” said Charlotte. “Who made that?”

“We did,” said Janey looking at Caroline. “What do you think?”

“It’s… I don’t know what to say. It’s amazing!” She hugged them both. “Thank you!”

Janey moved off to help with getting the food out and Charlotte looked at Caroline. She looked a hundred times better than when they had first met. Not so skinny and with shiny hair cut in a bob, her eyes were shining and she wore a broad smile.

“You look so well, Caroline! How’s your new home?”

“I love it. I can’t thank you and Sidney enough for getting me transferred into one of those new flats. It’s twice the size of my old one and half the rent. When I’m all settled in, I’m inviting you both round for a meal.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” said Charlotte, smiling.

In another room Sidney was talking with his old friends, Babbers and Crowe. 

“It’s so strange when I think back to that first day at university,” Babbers was saying. “Who’d have thought then that two of us would end up married to two of the girls we met that night?”

“It’s just you now, Crowe,” said Sidney. “When are you popping the question to Alison?”

“We’ve only been together five years - this is our anniversary too, remember - ask me again in another five.”

“Really?” said Babbers.

“Actually, no. We talked about it and decided we’re happy as we are. This way we get two lives - one in London and one down here. It seems to work, so why change it?”

“No reason at all,” said Sidney. 

The food was put out and everyone gathered to fill their plates with heaps of vegetable stew and rice, warm bread and pickles. They ate until they were nearly full, leaving room for the cake, which was cut and handed out with more champagne. Jenny, who had the loudest voice in the family, called out for some hush and as the room grew quiet, she said, “We’re not having speeches, although it would be fun to make Sid and Charlotte squirm with embarrassment.” Everyone laughed. “Let’s wish them both a very happy anniversary and many more to come!” Everyone cheered.

Sidney smiled and said, “That’s a relief about the speeches. But I would like to take this opportunity to say thank you. I can’t believe that you organised this party for us and I can’t believe that you are all here to celebrate with us. This would have been a special day anyway, but for you to have done all this for us makes it even more special…” 

“Those aren’t tears, are they Sid?” shouted Jenny.

“Of course not!” said Sidney, wiping his eye and looking down at Charlotte. “Anything else you want to say, my love?”

“Is there going to be dancing now?” she said.

“Of course there is!”

The plates were quickly cleared away and Henry’s band started playing again. When their set was over, the 80s disco started. The younger generation were bemused when their elders started dancing in earnest - even Caroline Griffiths - and seemed to know the words to every seemingly obscure song that was played. Alison and Caroline had drawn a line at Joy Division, but did manage to find the least miserable of the Smiths to play, much to Sidney’s amusement. 

Later on in the evening, Sidney caught Charlotte’s eye and then slipped out. She found him upstairs, in a room lit only by moonlight pouring in through a large bare window. 

“At last. I thought I’d never get you alone.” He took her in his arms and kissed her. “Happy anniversary, my love.”

“It’s just been the very best day, don’t you think?” she said smiling.

“It has.”

“So what are we doing in this particular room, Mr Parker?”

“This was my parents’ room… and then my room when I moved in with the children.”

“I always forget this is your family home. Doesn’t it feel strange sometimes? ”

“It’s like I can see two things happening at the same time - the activities that happen here now, and the life I used to live then.”

“I wonder where our Mary Parker wrote her letters.”

“I think she was there,” said Sidney pointing. “Can’t you see her at her little writing desk by the window?”

“I can,” said Charlotte, smiling “She’s there in her morning dress, writing the latest news to her sister.”

“And did you hear that carriage draw up? It’s Sidney, hoping to see Miss Harwood.”

“I’m here and waiting for him,” said Charlotte.

The music from downstairs became softer and slower. “Would you like to dance, Miss Heywood?”

“I’d be delighted, Mr Parker.”

Alicia and Jenny had crept upstairs and they stood in the doorway watching. Around them gathered the ghosts from the past and they watched, as Sidney held out his hand to Charlotte and together they moved across the floor. 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean this to be the last story, but if I end up missing these characters too much, maybe I'll write another story at some point. For the time being, however, I've started writing a completely different Sidlotte story where all our characters wear leathers and ride motorbikes... Don't know when it'll be ready, but will post here when it is.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you spotted the Mansfield Park references! I love the book and took it as inspiration for some of my plot.
> 
> I'm afraid for those of us for whom the 1980s seem quite recent (!), that decade really is now being researched and taught in university history departments.


End file.
